What to say in a memorial video: gentle words you can borrow

Being asked to say something in a memorial video is an honor, and it can also feel impossible. How do you fit a person into a few sentences? The honest answer is that you do not have to. You only need to share a small, true piece of them. The people watching will fill in the rest with their own memories.

Below is a simple way to shape what you say, followed by lines you can borrow, change, or simply use as a starting point. Take whatever helps and leave the rest.

What should you say in a memorial video?

Say who the person was to you, share one specific memory, and close with a thank you or a goodbye. That three-part shape works for almost anyone, from a parent to a colleague. Specific details, like a phrase they used or a place you went together, mean more than big general words.

Who they were to you. One memory. Thank you.

How do you write a memorial video message?

1. Step 1

   Name the relationship. "Grandma, you were the first person I called with good news."

2. Step 2

   Share one memory. Just one. The smaller and more ordinary, the better: a walk, a meal, a habit.

3. Step 3

   Say what they gave you. A lesson, a feeling, a way of doing things you still carry.

4. Step 4

   Close gently. "Thank you." "We love you." "Rest well." A few words are enough.

What are some memorial video messages you can copy?

These are starting points. Change a word, add a name, swap in your own memory. The best line is always the one that could only be about them.

For a parent

• "Mom, you made every house we lived in feel like home. I still hear you humming in the kitchen."
• "Dad, you taught me to fix a bike, to tell the truth, and to always bring a jacket. I will keep doing all three."
• "You were our safe place. Thank you for every early morning and every late night."
• "Everything good in me, I learned from watching you."

For a grandparent

• "Grandpa, thank you for the fishing trips and the endless patience when I tangled every line."
• "Your kitchen always smelled of cinnamon, and your door was always open."
• "You called me your little star. I hope I made you proud."
• "We will keep making your pancakes on Sundays, even if they are never quite as good."

For a partner

• "Thirty-two years, and I still looked for you first in every room."
• "You were my best friend before you were anything else. Thank you for choosing me every day."
• "Our life together was the best thing I ever did."
• "I will keep your side of the bookshelf exactly as you left it."

For a friend or sibling

• "You were the friend who showed up. Every time. Without being asked."
• "We grew up sharing a room, and I would give anything to hear you talking in the dark again."
• "You made ordinary days feel like adventures."
• "I am so grateful I got to be your sister."
• "Thank you for forty years of phone calls that started with 'you won't believe this'."

For a colleague

For a colleague, focus on how they made work better: their kindness, their skill, the way they helped. Keep it warm but not overly personal, and remember their family may watch.

• "She was the first to welcome every new person on the team."
• "He could fix anything, and he never made you feel silly for asking."
• "Our office is quieter without your laugh."
• "Thank you for teaching so many of us how to do this job well, and how to be kind while doing it."

When you did not know them well

Sometimes you are asked to speak for a group, or you knew the person only a little. It is fine to say so, and to speak about what others have shared.

• "I only knew her for a short time, but I understood right away why so many people loved her."
• "Everyone I have spoken to this week has the same story: he helped, and he never asked for thanks."
• "On behalf of all of us at the club, thank you for the years you gave us."

When only a few words will come

Grief can make long sentences hard. These short lines are complete on their own.

• "We miss you every day."
• "Thank you for loving us."
• "You were one of a kind."
• "Always with us."
• "Goodnight, Dad."

How should a memorial video begin and end?

Begin with their name and a simple line of love, and end with thanks or a short farewell. If you are putting the whole film together, it helps to have both ready early. These can be shown as text or read aloud.

What if you cry while recording?

That is completely all right. A voice that wavers is honest, and most people watching will be moved by it, not uncomfortable. Take a breath, pause, and carry on, or record again later. You can also write your words down and have someone else read them, or show them as text on screen.

Speak slowly, a little slower than feels natural. Short sentences are easier to say, and easier to hear in a room full of feeling.

For ideas on the film itself, see celebration of life video ideas, and for timing, how long a memorial video should be. If the goodbye is for an animal companion, there is a separate page on a pet memorial video.

If you would like help making it

Nine makes short, quiet drawn films with a voice and gentle music. You can paste your words as a script, and each paragraph becomes its own scene, so each person's message can have a moment of its own. Or use a voice recording, and the film follows your own voice for as long as you speak. Ask for "calmer" or "slower" in plain words. You receive the video file, and nothing is shared with anyone. Plans start at $29 a month; see pricing, or read more in a film for a memorial.